


You save everyone, but who saves you?

by leiastardis



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Chameleon Arch, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2019-10-18 10:59:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiastardis/pseuds/leiastardis
Summary: Doctor Joanna Smith, a psychologist at Pinderfields Hospital, is harbouring a deep secret. One that she doesn't even know herself. On the most ordinary of days, a new patient arrives for treatment. This patient knows Joanna, or rather knew Joanna, in another life. For this patient is Missy, and she is desperate to get the Doctor back.





	1. Another Ordinary Day

**Author's Note:**

> I have been planning to write a fic for so long, and I have come very close to publishing some. It feels right at this point in time to upload one. The idea of this fic came to me out of the blue, and I really think it's going to be interesting! 
> 
> These characters are going to go on a very long, difficult journey together.
> 
> I want to say a special thank you to all my friends who have helped me get here.

Doctor Joanna Smith had been a psychologist at Pinderfields Hospital, in Wakefield, for 13 years. In that time, she had treated hundreds, if not thousands of patients. Helping people was her passion. She would consistently do anything in her power to help anyone who reached out for her help.

 

Despite her numerous successful cases, she was sometimes misjudged and the consequences were dire. To learn that one of her patients had harmed themselves made her stomach toss and turn.

 

“I honestly don’t know how I didn’t see this coming” Joanna began, before her colleague interrupted, putting her arm around her shoulders.

 

“Listen to me, Joanna. This was by no means your fault, and you shouldn’t blame yourself. How could you know that he would do something like this?” Veronica attempted to calm Joanna down.

 

“It might not directly be my fault, but I should have noticed the signs”

 

Veronica hugged Joanna, “Don’t ever think like that, okay? You are the most incredible person I have ever met. We all have bad days.”

 

“You can’t be held accountable for his irresponsible actions.” Veronica continued.

 

She turned to face Veronica “I can’t be held accountable?” her facial expression had changed within a few milliseconds, it was as if a light switch had been flicked. One second, sad, and the next, angry.

 

“Joanna, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

 

“How did you mean it then?” She shouted, “If anything, I was the irresponsible one. I misjudged the situation, I was the one who didn’t realise he needed more than just help from me.”

 

Joanna grabbed her bag, putting it over her left shoulder “I know you mean well. I’m sorry for shouting at you. I’ve got to go, I’m meeting Peter for a coffee.

 

Veronica watched on as her colleague left the staff room. She only ever wanted to help Joanna, but she somehow always made things worse for her.

 

* * *

 

 

Upon leaving the staff room, Joanna was greeted with one of the worst parts of hospitals. The never-ending corridors.

 

Walking the entire length of a hospital corridor allowed her to contemplate a variety of things in her life. Was she happy with her career? Her boyfriend? Where she lived? So many questions, and yet no answers. At least, no definitive answers.

 

As she was walking past a series of elevators, Joanna was stopped by Doctor Tom Nelson, her boss.

 

“Doctor Smith, just the woman I’ve been looking for. Do you have some time to go over a few things in my office?”

 

 _Great. Yet another man in power who thinks he can say or do whatever to those he is in charge of_ , she thought to herself.

 

She put on a fake smile “Yep, I’ve definitely got time for that. I’ll come along in about an hour?”

 

He edged closer to Joanna “I’m sorry Doctor Smith, I’m only free now. Take it or leave it.”

 

 _Seriously?_ Joanna fought the impulse to roll her eyes.

 

“Perhaps another time, I’ve got a new patient coming in just shortly” she exchanged a few words about her work, before departing.

 

 _Phew_. She really had no time for him at all.

 

He was every kind of creepy. From the way he dressed, looked, and the odd smell that engulfed him.

 

Tom had been accused several times of gross misconduct in the workplace, however on each occasion the accuser ended up transferring hospitals to a higher position.

 

It was strange, to say the least. Joanna did not put up for his actions or attitude one bit. She always remained as distanced from him as humanly possible.

 

* * *

 

The hospital cafe was overpriced to say the least.

 

 _All of this should be free to patients in a hospital_ , she thought to herself.

 

As she entered the cafe, Joanna scanned the array of tables for Peter, her boyfriend.

 

Peter was, in all ways, the perfect boyfriend. Smart, funny, charismatic. He was especially great around the house. He did the majority of the cooking and cleaning.

 

Despite this, she couldn’t help but feel their relationship was missing something.

 

“Hi Joanna” he smiled at her, before moving in for a kiss. “How’s your day going?” he asked, as she joined him at the table.

 

“Not great. One of my patients has been admitted to intensive care.”

 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. You can’t blame yourself.” he put his hand on her shoulder.

 

“Whether I like it or not, I am partly to blame. I’m going to go see him later.” she explained.

 

Peter frowned, “Are you sure that’s a great idea, Jo?” he questioned her.

  
“I need to see him, Peter. Please respect my decision.”

 

“Of course I respect your decision, Jo. I’ll always back you up no matter what. I do love you, you know.” he held her hand from across the table.

 

Joanna couldn’t bring herself to say it back to him. She often struggled to keep up the pretence that she still loved him.

 

She glimpsed the time on her watch “Shit! I have to go. See you after work?”

 

She kissed Peter, and hastily exited the cafe with her coffee in hand.

 

* * *

 

Joanna had often found herself having the most bizarre dreams. She dreamt that she travelled throughout the entirety of time and space, in a blue police box of all things.

 

She had often wondered what the dreams meant, considering the recurrence of them. She hadn’t mentioned this to anyone, especially not Peter.

 

The dreams were partly to blame for her lack of love towards Peter, she believed. This was due to the fact that in her dreams she wasn’t a human being, she walked in eternity.

 

She witnessed the births and deaths of entire civilisations.

 

She didn’t fall in love with ordinary humans in her dreams. The humans she did fall in love with were anything but ordinary.

 

It wasn’t just the dreams that were leading her to believe she no longer loved Peter. Joanna had come to terms with the fact she wasn’t interested in men in that way.

 

How could she break it to him though. She often contemplated how to break it to him, and even came close to doing so on a couple of occasions.

 

The thought of breaking sweet Peter’s heart really made her feel guilty. She expressed her opinions on the situation to her colleague, Veronica, who told her that she needed to wait until she was ready herself.

 

* * *

 

Joanna gazed at the clock on her wall.

 

She was always fascinated by the concept of time, even as a child.

 

She could often be found tinkering in her shed, fixing clocks and a large variety of machinery.

 

At one point she was going to train as an engineer, however she felt as though she had a duty of help those in need.

 

She took a sip of her instant coffee and crossed her legs as she sat awaiting the arrival of her newest patient.

 

A woman dressed in the most peculiar purple frock dress burst into the room. Her dress sense was unlike anything she had ever seen.

 

It wasn’t just the dress, but it was also the incredibly sophisticated hair, and the oddity of the way she wielded an umbrella.  

 

“Please can you help me, Doctor?” the woman asked, looking extremely distressed.

 

Joanna leapt out of her chair, and walked towards the woman.

 

She held the woman's hands “Of course I can help you. That’s what I’m here for. This is a safe space. It’s just me, you, and these four walls.”

 

Joanna walked back to her chair “Please, take a seat. I’m Doctor Smith, but you can call me Joanna. What’s your name?”

 

“My name is Rani Song, but you can call me Missy”

  



	2. The First Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joanna is keen to learn more about the woman who calls herself Missy. Unaware of their true connection, Joanna begins to formulate her own views on the story of the Doctor and Missy. 
> 
> Trying not to reveal too much about her true identity proves difficult to Missy. She is yearning to have the Doctor back in her life, and this time for good.
> 
> Just what does Joanna think of Missy, and how far will she go to help her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank every single person who has taken the time to read the first chapter of you save everyone, but who saves you? & thank everyone who has left a comment and/or kudos! It means a lot to me, truly. The past week has been a wild one, from work stresses to being really ill. I hope you enjoy chapter 2 !

Joanna leaned forward, putting her hands together, “Missy? Where’d you get that nickname from?”

 

“Oh, you know, it’s one of those nicknames that just is! You don’t know where it originated from but somehow it stuck.”

 

Joanna smiled at Missy as she jotted down some notes in her notebook.

 

**_Unusual dress sense for someone in this day and age._ **

 

**_She is attempting to mask her inner sadness by being humorous._ **

 

~~**_strangely attractive_ ** ~~

 

**_Unusual brooch - potentially a story behind it ? (ask her about it on a future session)_ **

 

**_Very fidgety, this may be the direct result of some kind of breakdown._ **

 

Missy looked as though her entire world had been crushed. This was something that Joanna had picked up on.

 

“So, what brings you here? Tell me a bit about yourself.”

 

“Well” Missy crossed her legs, and plucked out a notebook from her hair “It all started a very, very long time ago.”

 

* * *

 

“Back when we attended the academy together, we had a mutual understanding of each other. I could tell her anything, and she could tell me anything. We shared such a special bond” Missy paused for a moment, Joanna could notice she was beginning to tear up.

 

“Would you like a tissue?” she held out a box towards her.

 

“I’m fine, thank you. Anywho, back at the academy. I’ve never felt as close to anyone as I have her. I’ve never been as close to anyone as I have her. Nobody has ever understood me like she did. Dare I say I cared for her, very much in fact.”

 

“And this academy, was it in Scotland?”

 

“Oh god no, much further afield than that dear.”

 

Missy sat back, and tilted her head up. Her eyes were firmly shut.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Shhhh.” Missy exhaled, “Mummy’s concentrating”

 

Joanna watched in confusion, she took down some notes.

 

“The first day I met her, I just knew. She was the one I had been waiting for. We just clicked. A very instantaneous friendship was formed, and we did everything together. We messed around together of course, don’t all friends?” she giggled, eyes still shut.

 

“Eventually she left and never came back. I was devastated. I did everything over the years to get her attention. When I did get her attention it always ended up with her leaving again. I don’t know where I went wrong. I know she must feel the same way about me”

 

A singular tear trickled down her cheek.

 

“Missy?”

 

As if by magic, she leapt out of her trance, “Yes?”

 

“Let’s focus on the details. Why did she leave?”

 

A few seconds went by, silence engulfing the room, Missy began laughing “Oh there’s been many a rumour and I have my own thoughts, but nobody knows why she left for sure, except maybe her.”

 

Joanna leaned forward, “Does _she_ have a name?”

 

Missy sunk further into the chair, “Let’s call her..” she paused for a second, thinking to herself “Gemma. Let’s call her Gemma.”

 

* * *

 

Joanna furrowed her eyebrows, trying to decipher the meaning behind Missy’s words. She certainly appeared to be very aware of what she was saying, however the way she spoke was very unusual to her.

 

“Was there something in particular that has happened between you two, to make you feel particularly low? I’m interested in finding out any details you can provide on your relationship with Gemma.”

 

“When we were very little, Gemma and I used to… well… we used to sneak out of our classes and just sit and talk to each other. I mean, we did more than talking, but the way in which we spoke was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. She wanted to show me the stars. I wanted to see them with her.”

 

Missy took a deep breath, and lifted herself up from the depths of the comfy chair, “Have you ever experienced true love?”

 

Joanna was taken aback by this question, she calmly placed her notebook and pen on the table which separated them.

 

“I have in fact. He’s called Peter.”

 

_He?_ Missy thought to herself.

 

“Tell me about him.”

 

“Now I don’t think that’s very appropriate-” Joanna began, however she was interrupted by Missy placing a finger on her lips.

 

“Tell me about Peter.” She repeated herself.

 

She turned around, and sat back down in her seat, gazing at Joanna for a response.

 

“Peter is the most caring, compassionate, and generous person I have ever met, he-” she began, before being interrupted once more by Missy.

 

“You don’t love him, do you?”

 

Joanna’s expression changed instantly, “What makes you say that?”

 

“It’s written all over your face, my dear.” Missy stood up, and grabbed Joanna’s hands “Come on. Surely you recognise me, Doctor? It’s me!”

 

Joanna gazed into her beautiful eyes. They were so magical, conveying so many emotions. It was overwhelming. She could feel something within herself telling her that she did know Missy.

 

Despite this, Joanna pulled her hands back, “I’m sorry. I don’t know you. I’ve told you to call me Joanna. I’m sorry.. I don’t think I can treat you. Clearly you have me mistaken for someone else.”

 

Joanna stood up and walked to her desk, pouring herself another coffee.

 

“Please.. I don’t know where to go, what to do with myself. I have noone. I only have you.”

 

Joanna saw a different look in her eyes. She was so full of love, and so sad at the same time. It was truly unlike anything she had ever seen.

 

“Missy, I want to help you.”, she walked across to her and held her hands, “The first step in allowing me to help you, is allowing you to help yourself. It might take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day after all.”

 

_That’s what you think,_ Missy thought to herself.

 

“What’d you say? Do you want to come speak with me again? You might find it easier the second time around.”

 

She wiped away her tears and nodded.

 

“I want you to know that I am always here. I’m just a phone call away.”

 

She handed Missy a card, with her contact details on it. “Day or night, I’ll always be at the other end of the phone.”

 

“I’m sorry. I must have confused you with someone else earlier.”

 

“All is forgiven. Now, when are you next free to see me?”

 

Missy smiled for the first time in a while, her eyes glistening, “Whenever, wherever. Whatever suits you best”

 

* * *

 

Joanna sighed, as she slumped back into her chair. Missy was easily the most unusual patient she had ever treated. There was something so distant, yet familiar, about her. She couldn’t put her finger on it.

 

She closed her eyes and recalled the moment that they had held hands. She thought it was stupid, but she had a glimpse of the crazy visions from her dreams. Missy was there, in the background.

 

_What the hell was she doing there?_ She thought to herself.

 

There was a knock at the door.

 

Joanna sat up, ran her fingers through her hair, and took a sip of her coffee, “Come in!” she exclaimed.

 

An older man walked in, “Hi, Doc.” he sat down across from Joanna.

 

"Busy week?" he asked.

 

Joanna smiled, "It certainly has been. How've you been, Graham?"

  

“I’ve felt a hell of a lot better, I must admit Doc.”

 

“Grief doesn’t vanish overnight. It’ll take you a while to process what happened to Grace. You can get through this Graham, I promise you."

  



	3. Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning home from a long day at work, Joanna delivers some home truths to Peter.
> 
> After an emergency call late at night, Joanna firmly shows where her loyalties lie, as she goes to visit Missy in her time of need.. or so Joanna thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's certainly been a while...
> 
> I've had this chapter mapped out for what feels like ages, however I haven't had the chance to sit down and write it until now.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

After a long day of work, Joanna returned to the comfort of her home. Although, her home was not always comfortable…

 

“How was work?” Peter shouted from the kitchen.

 

“It was fine! Had a nice catch-up with Graham.”

 

“That’s lovely. Listen, dinner won't be ready for another twenty minutes.. do you want to..” he began.

 

“No. Sorry, I’m really not in the mood today, Peter.” Joanna let out a sigh, as she walked away from Peter and jumped onto the couch.

 

Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw orange. That same orange sky from her dreams. The orange fields, trees and that giant citadel. The more she gave in the more she saw, or rather remembered.

 

She still couldn’t shake off what Missy had said to her. She couldn’t deny there was a connection between them, somehow. Surely not.

 

Joanna lowered the volume of the record player, she could hear Peter on the phone to his mum. 

 

_ If I have to go through another lecture from her… _ she thought to herself.

 

Peter always phoned his mum when he would have any relationship doubts, and she would always gladly interfere. 

 

She took the vinyl out of the record player, changing it to one more to her taste.

 

“Classic!” she said to herself, as she delicately placed the vinyl into the player.  **(Rumours by Fleetwood Mac)**

 

He was evidently upset, “Dinners ready.” his eyes were puffy. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

 

They sat down, not speaking a word for several minutes, whilst Gold Dust Woman was playing in the background. 

 

“How’s your day been?” 

 

“Fine.”

 

“You don’t have to take that attitude every time I’m too tired to have sex with you, Peter.”

 

“Well maybe it would help if we had sex more than once a month, have you thought about that Joanna?”

 

Before she had time to reply, he interjected “Thought not. You know, I do everything for you. I stay at home, I cook, I clean. A thank you wouldn’t go amiss now and again.”

 

She stared at him, trying to compose a reply. “Do you know what Peter?”, she stood up, and threw her glass of water at him. 

 

“Jesus, Joanna! What the hell!”

 

“I never asked for any of this. Stop acting as if you’re owed whatever you want, I’m not your mother” 

 

Joanna stormed off, heading to her bedroom. After locking the door, she sat on the windowsill. 

 

_ I really ought to think about leaving him… The perfect man everyone said… Little did they know he was a complete control freak.  _

 

She shut her eyes, she could feel the sun rays against her face. The orange sky appeared in her head again, she thought it was beautiful. Was she going mad?

 

* * *

 

The door knocked four times, “Joanna, please open the door.”

 

She was completely entranced, staring out of her window at the street. The knocks awoke her.

 

“I come in..”, the door unlocked “Peace..”

 

“Joanna, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way. Please forgive me, you mean everything to me.” Peter grovelled, grabbing her hands.

 

“If you want this relationship to work, you’re going to have to change the way you act. You need to respect me and the fact that my work is tiring.”

 

“Everything’s about your work though, Joanna. You barely sleep some nights, you need to see there’s life beyond work!”

 

“My life includes my work. When I see someone who needs help, I do what I can.”

 

Before they could continue, Joanna’s phone rang. It was an unknown number.

 

“Hello, Joanna Smith speaking, how can I help?”

 

“Joanna… Oh thank god. It’s Missy. I’m sorry, I know it’s late, but I really need someone to talk to.” 

 

“Send me your address, I’ll be right over Missy, just don’t do anything until I get there” 

 

“I won’t, thank you.”

 

Peter put his hands on his hips, “Who is Missy?”

 

“She’s a patient, and she needs my help. I’m sorry but we’ll need to continue this later.” 

 

She began to put some thicker layers on, as it had began raining outside.

 

“I love you, Joanna Smith”

 

She got up and kissed him, they exchanged looks and then Joanna left the room.

 

* * *

 

Missy’s house was certainly not what she had expected it to look like. A very eloquent, victorian style cottage in the middle of nowhere. 

 

Joanna knocked the door, and was quickly greeted by Missy.

 

“Please come in, let me take your coat” 

 

“Thank you. Missy how are-“ she began.

 

Missy interrupted, “Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?”

 

“A coffee would be nice, thank you. Missy, how are you doing? How are you feeling?”

 

“Oh you know, been better and all that. I really just needed a chat with you because I get lonely here all on my own.” she frowned.

 

“Did… did you call me all the way out here just for a friendly chat?”

 

“Well when you put it like that, I suppose so!” she grinned at her, pouring milk into their coffees.

 

“It’s out of hours, Missy. I gave you my number in case of an emergency, which this clearly isn’t.”

 

Before Missy could bring the coffees through, Joanna was putting her boots back on. She reached for her coat, but Missy stepped in front of her.

 

“Please, stay.”

 

Joanna frowned at her “I really can’t work you out. Why do you need me to stay?” 

 

Her face changed, “Do you really want to know why?”

 

They looked into each other’s eyes, unable to look elsewhere. They were entranced by each other’s beautiful eyes.

 

Joanna had never seen such passion in anyone’s eyes before, she could see pain and struggle but so much love.

 

Missy edged closer to her, not taking her eyes off of hers for a split second. 

 

Their faces were closer than they had ever been. 

 

Both of their eyes slammed shut at the exact same second, as their lips pressed against each other.

 

It was unlike anything Joanna had ever felt. It was so wrong but it felt so right.

 

She pulled away from Missy, “What are you doing? I have a boyfriend, Missy!” 

 

“Yes, but surely you felt that connection between us?”

 

Joanna grabbed her coat, “I can’t treat you anymore. Please find someone else, and please get the help you need. Don’t contact me again” 

 

Slamming the door behind her, she left.

 

Despite her harsh words, Joanna felt tears rolling down her face.

 

_ I can’t have feelings for her, I just can’t. _

 

Turning around, she could see Missy crying her eyes out whilst sat on the floor against the wall.

* * *

 

“Don’t worry, she doesn’t suspect a thing.” 

 

“Are you sure? After all, this is a Timelord we are dealing with.”

 

“The Timelord within her has been suppressed. She is clueless as to what is coming, remember that. It’s sad really, she believes herself to be an ordinary human.”

 

“I couldn’t care less if it’s sad. The most important thing is that we succeed.”

 

“You don’t have to worry about that.” the man adjusted his glasses, “She doesn’t know who her boyfriend really is.”

  
  



	4. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After experiencing a physical connection with another Timelord, Joanna has a more vivid dream than ever before. One which leaves her with more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back in the house.... shsjhdajsd I am,,,,, very late and very sorry... don't expect another update for a while like,,, I'm awful at keeping these up to date. I also must apologise for the very short chapter...

The sun's rays shone against the Gallifreyan surface, the grass swaying in the summer-like breeze.

 

It was as if she had never left.

 

_ Gallifrey, I remember. Gallifrey, of course. _

 

Walking through the fields of her homeworld was something she yearned for.

 

The capital’s glass dome stood tall in all its glory, the light reflecting off its surface.

 

_ It was quiet, too quiet. _

 

This dream was different to the previous ones which Joanna had experienced. 

 

She could see things more vividly, the details of the grains of sand becoming more real, the gallifreyan symbols returning to her memory.

 

She began to notice the faces of other people, people that she once knew.

 

One interesting change was the change in her clothes. Within her dreams, she retained the same clothes she would wear in her real life, but now she found herself in the most peculiar, yet familiar outfit.

 

“Oh come on Doctor, do try and keep up?” 

 

Joanna frowned. It was Missy.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you. I am not the Doctor, and you are no longer my patient!”

 

“Quickly, get to your TARDIS before they catch up with us!”

 

“The what? Who catches up with us?”

 

It was as if Missy couldn’t hear her, and it’s true, she couldn’t, not in a dream. 

 

All of her previous dreams had been, uneventful and rather peaceful. In this one, things got darker and darker.

 

“What was that?” Joanna turned on the spot, noticing a change in temperature and the fact it had suddenly become night.

 

Screams were coming from every direction, screams of pure terror. She couldn’t quite make out what was happening, it was all a blur.

 

“Tardis…. The Doctor…… Missy…. Gallifrey….” she muttered.

 

The Doctor was trying to claw out, trying to break free of the chameleon arch.

 

“The Corsair….. Regeneration…. Romana…. Bill Potts…..”

 

The stars began to disappear in front of her very eyes, the screams got louder and the darkness engulfed the planet.

 

Cracks in the ground began to form, with the planet seemingly shrinking and nobody in sight.

 

Nobody in sight. Except for……

 

“Peter??? What the hell are you doing here?” Joanna’s eyes widened. Staring directly at her was Peter, with a menacing facade.

 

He didn’t reply, however she noticed he was grinning.

 

She began running towards him, slowly merging into the Doctor as every second passed.

 

Just as she neared him, she was tackled by Missy.

 

“What the hell are you playing at!?” she questioned Missy.

 

“What am I playing at? What are you playing at, dear? You need to wake up, and see what’s right in front of you. The whole universe is at stake but the Doctor is nowhere to be seen. Instead, you are sitting around giving pointless advice to  _ boring humans. _ ”

 

“Wake up!” Missy screamed.

 

Joanna noticed two things before awakening, the look of evil in Peter’s eyes, and Missy’s lips.

 

Pulled back into the reality of her home life, Joanna awoke in bed, with Peter asleep beside her.

 

“What the hell.” she muttered.

 

After grabbing a cup of tea, she made a phone call and there was quickly a knock at the door.

 

“Come to your senses, have we?” Missy questioned, as she retracted her umbrella.

 

 


	5. Before Joanna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before the facade of Joanna Smith was born, the Doctor and her best friends were in terrible danger. A danger which was all too familiar, and required the assistance of someone the Doctor did not want to involve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be aiming to regularly update this fic from hereon in. I have mapped out a rough plan as to where this is going to go, and quite frankly this chapter sets up a lot, from certain revelations to horrifying moments.

 

**_“You can do this. I believe in you.”_ **

 

Before the facade of Joanna Smith was born, the Doctor and her best friends were in terrible danger. 

 

“It’s still on our tail, whatever it is!” she ran around the console, maneuvering the TARDIS through the vortex, whilst being followed.

 

“Can’t we just… I don’t know.. Disappear and land somewhere?” Graham questioned the Doctor, as his grip tightened against the TARDIS pillars. Yaz and Ryan were also grasping separate pillars, trying to hold on for dear life.

 

The Doctor turned and frowned at Graham, before flipping back to the console, turning dials and using the controls like her friends had never seen her before.

  
Her friends looked at each other, conveying their worry in their glances. They had never seen the Doctor act like this before.

 

“Come on…. Come on!!” the Doctor’s multiple ideas didn’t work. She couldn’t get this ship to stop following them.

 

She stopped moving, turned on the spot and faced her friends.

“I don’t know what to do.” 

 

Graham, Yaz and Ryan looked at each other. “But… but you’re the Doctor?” Yaz exclaimed, attempting to make her see sense.

 

“Doctor. I know you said we might not make it back, but not like this. There must be something you can do, someone you can ask for help?” Graham also attempted to give some hope to the Doctor.

 

“Please, Doctor. We can’t give up!” Ryan joined in.

 

The Doctor turned to face the console, her eyes darting back and forth, as she began to plot her next move.

 

“If this goes wrong. I’m sorry.”

 

She pressed a button on the console, which began to pulsate a purple colour.

 

“What did you do?” Ryan questioned her, as the group all stared at the Doctor.

 

“Called for reinforcements.”

 

Graham, Yaz and Ryan all looked confused, as the sound of another TARDIS materialising began. 

  
“Doctor… why is there a victorian wardrobe in the TARDIS?” Yaz asked.

 

The wardrobe doors swung open, and a woman in the most peculiar purple dress stepped out.

 

“Oh Doctor, you naughty girl. I told you not to phone me after bedtime.”

 

“No time for games Missy, come look at this.” the Doctor ushered Missy across to the TARDIS display screen.

 

“Now that is peculiar… they definitely want to keep their identity hidden I’ll give them that.”

 

“That’s not the half of it, Missy. It’s emitting a field which the TARDIS has identified as-” the Doctor began.

 

“Gallifreyan.” Missy concluded.

 

Graham scratched his head, as Yaz and Ryan looked on in confusion, “Is someone gonna explain what’s going on?” 

“Hush.” Missy responded.

 

Turning to face the Doctor, Missy took off her hat and placed it on the floor, “So. You have a Timelord after you, in a disguised ship which also happens to be attempting to pull this TARDIS towards it? Now that sounds familiar…” Missy pulled out her favourite lipstick, smothering her lips with it.

 

“I don’t know what to do, Missy.”

 

“Figures, why else would you call your bestie?”

 

“Her what?” Yaz shouted, defensively. 

 

Missy grinned, as the Doctor took no notice.

 

“I have one idea… but I don’t know if we could pull it off.”

 

“Well, we’re all ears aren't we gang?” Missy placed her arms around Graham and Ryan, as they both simultaneously walked away from her.

 

The Doctor pulled out a fob watch, and exchanged looks with Missy.

 

“Oh, Doctor.”

 

Missy took a step back, realising what her best friend was about to do.

 

“Do you know who it is, do you know who is following you?”

 

The Doctor put her hand through her hair, as she walked away from the console. Her head hanging in shame.

 

Missy followed her, as did Graham, Yaz and Ryan.

 

“Doctor. You can tell me.”

 

“Us.” Ryan interjected.

 

“Fine.  _ Us _ ” Missy retorted.

 

The Doctor aimed her sonic screwdriver at the TARDIS display screen, pulling up information on the ship following them. Missy darted across to take in the details.

 

“The TARDIS following you… is the same TARDIS?” Missy looked puzzled.

“You know who it is.” the Doctor sighed, as she held her head with both hands.

 

Yaz sat down beside her, “Doctor. It’s going to be alright. I promise.” the Doctor rested her head on Yaz’s shoulder, as Graham and Ryan attempted to understand the information on the display.

 

“It can’t be. It just can’t be him.”

 

The Doctor stepped up, facing Missy, “Who else?”

 

“The Valey-” 

 

“Don’t say it.” the Doctor shouted.

 

“Missy. I need you to help me, and Graham, Yaz and Ryan. I need to use the chameleon arch, and I need placed on Earth. We need to get the TARDIS as close as possible to a Black Hole, in order to kick start the engines to fling us through the vortex undetectable.”

 

Missy put her arms around the Doctor, whispering in her ear, “I’ll do it.”

 

* * *

 

“We’ve came up with a persona for you, Doctor. You’ll be Joanna Smith, a Psychologist.” Yaz explained, as the Doctor was setting up the Chameleon Arch.

 

“5 minutes until we arrive at the black hole. No going back.” Missy reported to the team.

 

“Who is she, Doctor?” Ryan asked the Doctor, as she was inputting wires into the TARDIS console unit.

  
“An old friend. She’s one of my people.”

 

Missy grinned, and waved at Ryan.

 

“When I go under, I can’t find out who I am until we know everything is safe. Missy will be monitoring readings, to ensure that we haven’t been followed.” she explained, “Missy will take us to Earth and leave us to our own devices.”

 

The Doctor sat down, Missy adjusted the chameleon arch on her head, placing the fob watch in place.

 

“Good luck.” Missy kissed the Doctor’s forehead.

 

“Graham. Yaz. Ryan. Thank you.” the Doctor smiled, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Thank you, Doctor.” they all replied.

 

Missy gazed in anticipation.

 

The Doctor nodded at her.

 

Nobody was prepared for the screams which were about to come, the Doctor was in agony. Her whole biology was changing.

 

“You’ve got to do something. Help her!” Yaz shouted, as they all looked as the Doctor screamed in pain.

 

“There’s nothing I can do now, dear. Her biology is changing. She will be a…. Human. The thought just gives me the shivers! Won’t be doing that again” she chuckled to herself.

 

Missy frowned, “Oh no.”

 

“Oh no, what?” Ryan asked.

 

“It’s the black hole… I can’t get the TARDIS out of its gravitational pull. We’re stuck.”

 

“What?!” Graham shouted, “You can’t be serious?!”

 

“I’m afraid I am. Look for yourself.” Missy flicked a switch, and the TARDIS doors flung open.

 

A black hole. Everything around it dying, everything being sucked in until nothing is left.

 

“Fascinating isn’t it.” Missy sighed.

 

The ship which had been following them crashed into the side of the TARDIS, knocking them further towards the black hole, and rendering the TARDIS exterior shields useless.

 

Everyone began to be drawn towards the TARDIS doors.

 

“DO SOMETHING” Yaz screamed at Missy, as they all held on for life.

 

The Doctor continued to wail in pain from a separate room in the TARDIS.

 

“HANG ON” Missy yelled, as she used her arms to pull herself around the console, not taking into consideration the Doctor’s friends lives.

 

“Ryan, hold on!” Graham shouted at his step-grandson.

 

Missy looked hopeful, and the TARDIS began to emit sounds similar to that of a car in the wrong gear.

 

“Just a little bit longer. The dematerialisation circuit is being given a run for its money!” 

 

Ryan could feel his fingers slipping from the console unit pillars. 

 

“RYAN?” Yaz looked on in fear, she could see he was struggling.

 

“I’m fine Yaz. How much longer, Missy?” Ryan asked, Missy could sense the fear in his voice.

 

She was turning dials, flicking switches and pulling levers in a similar fashion that the Doctor would.

 

The TARDIS edged closer and closer to the black hole, as the group struggled to hold on.

 

Ryan turned to look at Graham.

 

His grip loosened.

 

“Grandad. I’m sorry.”

 

Graham’s lower lip dropped, quivering, “There’s nothing to be sorry for, son. Just hold on a little bit longer it’ll be-” he began, as the TARDIS suffered another collision from the other ship.

 

“That’s it, jokes on you, you’ve fixed my wee problem!” Missy rattled around the unit, pulling levers with her feet and turning dials with her umbrella.

 

Missy turned to look at the Doctor’s friends, her face soon turned to shock.

 

The collision may have aided her by allowing the TARDIS to leave, but it had a horrible consequence.

 

Ryan looked around the room in awe. He still couldn’t believe that he had this experience, and that he got to share it with Yaz, from his school, and his grandad.

 

His grip loosened further with the last hit to the TARDIS. He looked at Yaz, and Graham.

 

“Tell the Doctor, thank you” he exclaimed, as he began to tear up.

 

Graham stuttered “Ryan.. please, hold on… just a little longer” 

 

Yaz couldn’t bring herself to talk.

 

Ryan finally lost his hold on the TARDIS pillars, as his body hurtled through the air, leaving the TARDIS through those blue doors.

 

Missy thought that the Doctor’s screams were horrific, until she heard Graham and Yaz.

 

Seconds later, Missy dematerialised the TARDIS.

  
  



	6. R.I.P

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After experiencing her most vivid dream yet, Joanna seeks answers, and ends up with even more questions. Meanwhile, a life-changing event occurs, leaving Joanna even more speechless and Missy closer to having her best friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me updating this fic sooner than usual? We stan! This chapter is set post chapter 4, and the next one will follow on from last chapter's shocking end...

“Come to your senses, have we?” Missy questioned, as she retracted her umbrella.

Joanna moved towards the sofa, her hands visibly shaking.

“You called me… the Doctor. On multiple occasions.” she paused, unsure as to if what she said next would make her seem crazy.

“Why did you do that? It was clearly intentional.”

Missy’s expression was, undoubtedly emotional.

“It’s a rather long story, I’m afraid. I won’t bore you of all the details as such, however you remind me of a certain ... someone.”

Joanna took several seconds to internalise this information. Her brain was going haywire, her latest dream was so vivid, and so different to anyone she previously had.

“Have you ever heard of a … tar-dis?” Joanna couldn’t quite say the word properly.

  
“I--” Missy began, “I have.”

 

They exchanged several looks, looks of confusion, panic, worry and a hint of passion.

 

“Missy…” Joanna began, however she was stopped by the sound of a creaking floorboard from upstairs.

 

“You have to go. Right now.” she whispered.

 

They sneaked towards the front door, attempting to ensure Peter never heard a thing.

 

“Missy.” Joanna whispered, as she grabbed her hand. 

 

Joanna leaned in, and kissed her on the lips. She wanted to have another vivid dream, so she could try and get to the bottom of things, however, she also had a serious crush on Missy.

Missy kissed her back, revelling in this moment.

 

“Go!” Joanna whispered.

 

Missy quietly shut the door behind her, leaving to head home.

 

Joanna pushed her hair back, grabbed a glass of water from the fridge and headed upstairs.

 

“What are you doing up at this time?” Peter questioned.

 

“Dunno, just woke up and thought I’d grab some water. That alright?” 

 

“Of course.”

 

Peter moved towards Joanna and leaned in for a kiss. Joanna felt as though she could no longer trust him. Besides their ongoing issues, she felt as though her dream was trying to tell herself something. 

 

* * *

 

_ Another day in paradise _ , Joanna thought to herself as she walked the corridors of the hospital.

 

She would go out of her way to avoid her boss at all costs. Today she only had to see a few patients, before returning home to… Peter.

 

Her office was covered in paperwork, from top to bottom. She made herself a cup of black coffee, before attempting to spruce up her office. In Joanna terms, she was stuffing paperwork in drawers, and plumping the pillows.

 

There was a knock at the door.

 

“Come in!” Joanna shouted, with a smile on her face. This smile wouldn’t last long however.

 

Doctor Tom Nelson, her boss, walked in “Good Morning Doctor Smith. How are you doing?”

 

Behind her fake smile, she was really thinking how much of a dickhead he was.

 

“Great, thank you Tom, and yourself?”

 

“Unfortunately I am .. just okay. However, I do hope today proves to be a good one in fact.”

 

Joanna took a sip of her coffee, and sunk into her chair, “Is there anything I could do for you Tom, it’s just that I have a patient arriving soon.”

 

“I’m sure there’s plenty you could do for me.” he laughed to himself.

 

_ Creep _ , Joanna thought to herself.

  
“Such as?” She questioned him.

 

Unbeknown to Tom, Joanna had her recording device, which she uses with patients, set up and recording their whole conversation.

 

He edged closer to her, sitting directly next to her. He put a hand on her knee.

 

“You know, Joanna. If you do want that promotion, all you have to do is ask for it nicely.”

 

She was beyond revolted. This wasn’t the first time he acted like this.

 

“It would be nice, Tom. I think I’ve more than earned it.”

 

Tom laughed in her face, “Oh I don’t quite think so. Not yet at least.”

 

He moved his hand further up her leg, progressing from her knee to her thigh.

  
Joanna stood up, and walked towards her desk, besides the door. She sat on her desk, staring around the room but not at him.

 

“Doctor Smith.” he said, in a degrading tone.

 

He stood up and walked towards her at the desk.

 

“You have to earn that promotion, one way or another. You need to work, hard.”

 

Joanna held her head high, attempting to not be intimidated by her boss.

 

He was far closer to her than she would like, and far closer than is acceptable.

 

Before she could react, one of the quickest life altering moments was about to happen.

  
He leaned forwards, and kissed her, progressing to hold her face as he did.    
  
“GET OFF ME!” Joanna shouted, trying to push him back to no avail.

 

The door swung open, Tom turned to look at the woman who had entered the room.

 

Missy swung her umbrella, hitting Tom directly in the face, he fell to the ground and began to bleed out.

 

“Missy!” Joanna shouted as she looked down as her boss lay unconscious, bleeding out.

 

They both stared at him, and then each other.

  
“We need to get help.”

 

“And how do you propose you explain this to anyone, hm? Joanna, he is a disgusting excuse for a human being.. Or rather, was.” Missy grinned as she said this.

 

Joanna just stared at her, in shock as her boss was literally dying in front of her.

 

“I’ll get rid of the body, you get rid of the stains” Missy commanded.

 

This was one of the most bizarre moments of Joanna’s ordinary life, although she couldn’t help but feel extremely calm, it was as if she had seen many people die before, although… she hadn’t.

 

“What if people ask me about him? What do I say?”

 

Missy laughed, as she held a handkerchief over Tom’s mouth, “You’ll come up with something, dear.”

 

* * *

 

Joanna had cleaned up her office, as best she could, and bought a new rug. 

 

Nobody had noticed Tom’s absence yet.

 

She sat, anxiously awaiting her patient.

 

There was a knock at the door, and Graham entered.

 

“Hiya Graham. How are you? Take a seat.”

 

Graham closed the door, and sat down opposite Joanna. He couldn’t help but smell the odor.

“Doc… what’s that smell?”

 

“Oh it’s nothing… just need a bit of a spring clean in here that’s all.”

 

“You seem different, are you okay?”   
  
“Yes I’m fine Graham. So, how have you been?”

 

Graham paused.

 

“You know Doc.. I feel so numb. I’ve lost my wife, grandson and one of my closest friends.”   
  
Joanna looked puzzled, “you’ve never mentioned losing a friend to me before?”   
  
“I’ve not exactly lost her, however she’s lost herself. If that makes any sense.”   
  
Joanna couldn’t help but feel as though this was a similar statement to her own situation. Her dreams were strange to say the least, and making her doubt herself. Hell, she was carrying on as normal after she witnessed a cold blooded murder.

 

“Doc… are you in there?”

 

Joanna raised an eyebrow, “What?”

 

“I mean.. Is the real you still in there. Y’know, after all that in the TARDIS?”

 

Joanna’s head felt like it was on fire, she clutched her head with her hands, her mind felt like it was going crazy.

  
She could hear multiple, random phrases repeating themselves over and over.

 

“Graham.. I- I’m sorry, I need to go. Please see yourself out.”

 

Joanna grabbed her bag, leaving her coat behind, and she left the office.

 

She took out her phone, and phoned Missy immediately.

 

“Hello… Missy speaking!”

 

“We need to talk. There is something you are not telling me.”   
  
“Oh, thanks for getting rid of the body Missy. Aye, no problem Joanna.” Missy retorted.

 

Joanna hung up the phone, as she set course for Missy’s house.

 

* * *

 

She rang the doorbell thirteen times before Missy answered.

  
“Hello.” she exclaimed.

  
Joanna brushed past her, sitting herself on the sofa immediately.

 

“Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?” Missy asked, as she stood awaiting a reply.

 

“What aren’t you telling me? You keep calling me Doctor, even my patient is acting strange with me.” Joanna demanded an answer.

  
“It’s a rather long answer I’m afraid… and I’d rather leave it for now. Perhaps we could play Cluedo, or watch an…. Episode of Pointless?” Missy smiled.

 

“I don’t care how long it takes you, but I want, or rather need, you to tell me the truth, now.”

 

Missy stared at Joanna, she sat down opposite her.

 

“Well.” she began.


	7. The Set Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of chapter 5, Missy is tasked with setting up the Doctor's new life, as Joanna Smith. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoy this veryyyy short chapter! this continues on from chapter 5, before ending as a lead in to chapter 1 - it all got a bit timey wimey in the sense that chronologically this fic goes chapter 5, 7, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 but,,, i am currently not planning to have any further flashback chapters.

**“You may paint over me, but I will still be here”**

 

Missy had been given her instructions from the Doctor, she was to set up her new life as Joanna Smith. 

 

Losing Ryan was not in her instructions, and Missy was dreading the inevitable moment where the Doctor would return, and find out what had happened to him.

 

Landing the TARDIS abruptly in Sheffield, Missy set out her plans.

 

Graham and Yaz barely had any time to mourn for Ryan, as the whirlwind that is Missy, was ushering them all back to their homes.

 

Yaz furrowed her eyebrows, gazing at Missy, “But.. what about the Doctor? What use are we to her back home?”

 

Missy laughed in her face, “Oh dear, I’ll take care of her, and I will be in touch with your instructions soon enough!”

Graham and Yaz looked at each other, before heading off to Graham’s together. They were, quite frankly, in complete shock over the events that had just occurred. Graham had now lost not only Grace, but also Ryan.

 

Missy waved at them, before closing the TARDIS doors. 

 

She looked around the TARDIS, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. She couldn’t believe that the Doctor had entrusted her with this monumental task, she had to get it right.

 

“No signs of anyone following us… always a good sign. Now Doctor, time to get you ready”

 

Missy leant against the console unit, analysing her instructions. In one hand, she had her instructions in book format, and the other a cup of tea (with just a dash of whiskey). 

 

The Doctor was to become Joanna Smith, a Psychologist at Pinderfields Hospital in Sheffield. She was to be allowed to _do her own thing_ without any interruptions from Missy, Graham or Yaz. Outlined in the instructions however, was a note explaining that Joanna could see, meet and even speak with the three of them. 

 

Missy began her preparations, creating fake CV’s for Joanna and then applying for a conveniently vacant position at Pinderfields.

 

“Let’s find you a cutesy wee house Miss Smith..” Missy placed her tea down on the console unit before logging onto zoopla, amongst other housing websites.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor, or now Joanna, lay unconscious in her new home, or rather her always home. Everything she once knew, felt, experienced and loved was expelled from her mind. Now, she was Joanna Smith. She was always Joanna Smith.

 

She woke up in front of her laptop. Her emails were conveniently open for her to see.

 

Her eyes readjusted from waking up, rubbing her eyes before checking her emails.

 

Joanna’s eyes widened, as she read the most unbelievable news. She had been accepted at Pinderfields Hospital, she was now a psychologist and no longer a trainee.

  
“All those years at uni helped after all.” she spoke to herself, as she often found herself doing.

  
Leaping out of her chair, she went to make herself a cup of coffee.

 

Joanna’s home was, welcoming and warm. She couldn’t pay the rent all by herself, however.

Only one person applied to her online advert, searching for a roommate. A man named Peter.

 

He was, by all accounts, perfect. He had inherited a large sum of money, negating the need to work, as well as his perfect posture and cleanliness.

 

Joanna couldn’t help but fall for him. She accepted his offer after their first meeting, and after only a week of living together, they ended up sleeping in the same bed together.

  
Joanna and Peter were, to begin with, a perfect couple.

 

Cracks began to show in their relationship when she began to work longer hours, and became unresponsive to his charms. It was as if somebody deep within her was warning her to stay away from him.

 

Missy was wrong when she claimed that nobody had followed them, so very wrong.

 

In fact, they had been followed all the way to Joanna’s doorstep.

 

Unbeknownst to everyone, Joanna was living, and sleeping with one of the Valeyard’s associates.

 

Peter was far too good to be true, but how was unsuspecting Joanna to know? 

 

Little did she know, and little did Missy know that the Valeyard was playing the long game. He knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it.

 

Days turned into weeks, and then months of Joanna living with Peter. He began to understand exactly what made her tick, and he fed that information back to the Valeyard. 

 

He began to purposefully irritate her, attempting to uncover the Doctor beneath the facade. 

  
The Valeyard had a plan.

 

* * *

 

Upon leaving the staff room, Joanna was greeted with one of the worst parts of hospitals. The never-ending corridors.

 

Walking the entire length of a hospital corridor allowed her to contemplate a variety of things in her life. Was she happy with her career? Her boyfriend? Where she lived? So many questions, and yet no answers. At least, no definitive answers.

 

As she was walking past a series of elevators, Joanna was stopped by Doctor Tom Nelson, her boss.

 

“Doctor Smith, just the woman I’ve been looking for. Do you have some time to go over a few things in my office?”


End file.
